I'm quiet and awake
Despite the make-believe chaos
That plays on the TV tonight
And plays with our minds, day-by-day.
This obscufating fog of miscommunication,
Intentions awry.
Oh, but the sun of love
Burning through the gloom,
Brightening the day,
Wind's impetus to blow away mistaken words.

According to WebMD, my stomach is not chronically tortured from an ulcer. Hooray! Let's celebrate with a beer. On the other hand, why does it always hurt?

The altbier has carbonated nicely and I hope that everyone enjoys it.

I hope the waves pick up tomorrow; my soul is drying out. Wow, I need some sleep all sortsa bad.

you wish you knew the chords

I miss you.
I miss the way you looked at me.
The way you talked to me.
How soft you felt to me.
How good you were to me.

And now for something completely different:

If I could pave the streets
That you walked on with gold
You know I would
It's not a question if I could
But if you wanted me
To do it

I've loved and I've lost
And there isn't a cost
That's to great
To pay
To go on living
Without you

You know who you are
Everyone that I've known
It could be anyone
Any girl
Don't give up hope
It just might be you

But who should I kid?
If all the world died
It could just be you

The end of the world
The end of mankind
So there is no chance
Or is there?

In closing.....

...thank you all again for coming out here tonight.

I am reminded of an ancient saying that went something like this-forgive me for paraphrasing:

Beware the braggards and the strong, for they may be the most scared and weakest amongst us. Beware the self-confident and those who would want you to think that they are not hurt, for they are truly the neediest. Also beware those who do not accept your deepest love, even as you flay your heart open at their feet. Fear not these people for their faults; they are only human such as you and I. Fear these people because they do not know their own faults and weaknesses and that they might drag you down into their ignorance. Be the weak and seek those who can make you strong. Be lonely and seek love from those who are willing to give of themselves. Cry for yourself that others may not realize how much you have to give to them and pray for them that, if not from you, then from Another may they be completed.

Thanks again for coming and, please, drive home safely.

"I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever"

How uninspired AM I these days?

How life changes day to day and how my mind changes hour to hour, yet everything seems stagnant, constant, cold and lonely. Anyways, I'm still alive and hope to be back in the water soon.

ευτυχή ίχνη σε σας

I'm more or less mirroring the myspace blog at this point.
C'est la vie.



If you knew I was to die tomorrow,
What would you tell me today?

Would you tell me that you loved me once?
That you love me now?
That you will love me forever?

Can you say that one time
When you looked in my eyes
You saw the flicker of your unborn children there?
Can you say that you've seen the happiness you've brought
And the pain that you've caused
Without remembering how you did either?

Can you say that you've wondered what it would be like
To grow old together?
To fight furiously and still know that I love you?
Would you tell me that you thought of me
Even as you were kissing someone else?
Thought of what I was doing and how much it would hurt me
If I could have seen you then?

Would you tell me that we never had a chance?
Tell me that we were friends and barely that?
Tell me we never had a chance and you knew that it killed me,
Because the thought of you needing me was the glue
That held my porcelin heart together?
Would you tell if you knew that?

Would you tell me that you loved me before I knew you did?
And you waited patiently in hopes that I would come around
Only to discover that when I realized how much I loved you
The warmth in your heart had faded?
Would you tell me that you then fell in love with me again?

Tell me it's not too late.
Tell me to never stop trying because things do work out in the end.
Tell me I might be happy without you
Even though I don't want to imagine it.

Would you tell me that it's alright to cry for you
Even if you'll never see my tears?
Would you tell me that you will make everything alright?
That you are mine and I am yours?
Tell me that we will be together forever,
Even if forever is only a day away.

Look in my eyes and tell me that we tried
And we made it.
We made it on love, trust, honesty, and patience.
On humility and perserverance,
Respect and devotion.

Tell me how happy I can make you
And then let me do it.
Tell me you'll give me that opportunity.

And when you are done telling me all this,
If your heart, mind, and soul
Are anything but absolutely serene,
Then tell me something more.
It may be your last chance.

Questions for myself, myself, myself

So I put this up on MySpace so I could just post a simple link or something like that. I feel so much more prolific if I cut and paste, though :) How gratuitous is that!!! So I apologize for all of you who check both. Wait, I'm the only one who reads both. Shoot, I might be the only one who reads either. Okay, so now I'm talking to myself. My aren't you clever? Come here often?


Current mood: frusturated to the point of naseau


What is it about afternoons that put me in this mood?
Is it the boredom at work?
Is it a phase?
Something else?

What will it take to make me happy again?
There have been flashes lately;
Certainly overdue but at least
They have been there.

I'm definitely close
Or at least close to that which it shall require.
Like setting the controls for the heart of the sun
And not being blinded in its light.

I'm excited because the fire of the man I want to be has been re-lit,
even as I've been off-track for far too long.
Here I will choose carefully my words:
Why cannot I not be the rabbit rather than the fox,
For once having joy seek ME out?
In a way, I have been waiting for this happiness
Wallowing in a stubborn and vestigial loneliness.
Has it found me this go-around?
May He bestow in me the patience to see it through.

Yet how can I possibly complain?
Should God grant me any opportunity
Let me show the world the wisdom of His will.
Certainly I should love chances such as these before me.
Should He not, I will be no less grateful to Him
And I pray I would live my life no differently.

Regardless of what happens
I feel a little more awake.
Still a very uncertain
But awake.

As always, life can either be simple or have any degree of complication.
More than anything, more than ever
I hope that this one thing will be straightforward...
Please don't ask what it is because I just can't say.
It's too dear to me to share right now
And I've said too much already.

I apologize in advance for honest and reasonable requests
That I am unable to honor.
I promise it's not my fault and I will do all I can to be true to them.

I'm going to go with the flow for awhile
But I should love some company.
Would anyone like to float along with me?



*I was extremely frusturated when I began writing this. As I wrote, though, launchcast blessed me with some good tunes and now I am calm, almost sedate in the opportunities I might have (is this the mood that will one day spawn a midlife crisis?). If I chose again, I would say that my mood would be eager...and *gasp* a little hopeful. I hope that rubs off :)