Questions for myself, myself, myself

So I put this up on MySpace so I could just post a simple link or something like that. I feel so much more prolific if I cut and paste, though :) How gratuitous is that!!! So I apologize for all of you who check both. Wait, I'm the only one who reads both. Shoot, I might be the only one who reads either. Okay, so now I'm talking to myself. My aren't you clever? Come here often?


Current mood: frusturated to the point of naseau


What is it about afternoons that put me in this mood?
Is it the boredom at work?
Is it a phase?
Something else?

What will it take to make me happy again?
There have been flashes lately;
Certainly overdue but at least
They have been there.

I'm definitely close
Or at least close to that which it shall require.
Like setting the controls for the heart of the sun
And not being blinded in its light.

I'm excited because the fire of the man I want to be has been re-lit,
even as I've been off-track for far too long.
Here I will choose carefully my words:
Why cannot I not be the rabbit rather than the fox,
For once having joy seek ME out?
In a way, I have been waiting for this happiness
Wallowing in a stubborn and vestigial loneliness.
Has it found me this go-around?
May He bestow in me the patience to see it through.

Yet how can I possibly complain?
Should God grant me any opportunity
Let me show the world the wisdom of His will.
Certainly I should love chances such as these before me.
Should He not, I will be no less grateful to Him
And I pray I would live my life no differently.

Regardless of what happens
I feel a little more awake.
Still a very uncertain
But awake.

As always, life can either be simple or have any degree of complication.
More than anything, more than ever
I hope that this one thing will be straightforward...
Please don't ask what it is because I just can't say.
It's too dear to me to share right now
And I've said too much already.

I apologize in advance for honest and reasonable requests
That I am unable to honor.
I promise it's not my fault and I will do all I can to be true to them.

I'm going to go with the flow for awhile
But I should love some company.
Would anyone like to float along with me?



*I was extremely frusturated when I began writing this. As I wrote, though, launchcast blessed me with some good tunes and now I am calm, almost sedate in the opportunities I might have (is this the mood that will one day spawn a midlife crisis?). If I chose again, I would say that my mood would be eager...and *gasp* a little hopeful. I hope that rubs off :)