ευτυχή ίχνη σε σας

I'm more or less mirroring the myspace blog at this point.
C'est la vie.



If you knew I was to die tomorrow,
What would you tell me today?

Would you tell me that you loved me once?
That you love me now?
That you will love me forever?

Can you say that one time
When you looked in my eyes
You saw the flicker of your unborn children there?
Can you say that you've seen the happiness you've brought
And the pain that you've caused
Without remembering how you did either?

Can you say that you've wondered what it would be like
To grow old together?
To fight furiously and still know that I love you?
Would you tell me that you thought of me
Even as you were kissing someone else?
Thought of what I was doing and how much it would hurt me
If I could have seen you then?

Would you tell me that we never had a chance?
Tell me that we were friends and barely that?
Tell me we never had a chance and you knew that it killed me,
Because the thought of you needing me was the glue
That held my porcelin heart together?
Would you tell if you knew that?

Would you tell me that you loved me before I knew you did?
And you waited patiently in hopes that I would come around
Only to discover that when I realized how much I loved you
The warmth in your heart had faded?
Would you tell me that you then fell in love with me again?

Tell me it's not too late.
Tell me to never stop trying because things do work out in the end.
Tell me I might be happy without you
Even though I don't want to imagine it.

Would you tell me that it's alright to cry for you
Even if you'll never see my tears?
Would you tell me that you will make everything alright?
That you are mine and I am yours?
Tell me that we will be together forever,
Even if forever is only a day away.

Look in my eyes and tell me that we tried
And we made it.
We made it on love, trust, honesty, and patience.
On humility and perserverance,
Respect and devotion.

Tell me how happy I can make you
And then let me do it.
Tell me you'll give me that opportunity.

And when you are done telling me all this,
If your heart, mind, and soul
Are anything but absolutely serene,
Then tell me something more.
It may be your last chance.

Questions for myself, myself, myself

So I put this up on MySpace so I could just post a simple link or something like that. I feel so much more prolific if I cut and paste, though :) How gratuitous is that!!! So I apologize for all of you who check both. Wait, I'm the only one who reads both. Shoot, I might be the only one who reads either. Okay, so now I'm talking to myself. My aren't you clever? Come here often?


Current mood: frusturated to the point of naseau


What is it about afternoons that put me in this mood?
Is it the boredom at work?
Is it a phase?
Something else?

What will it take to make me happy again?
There have been flashes lately;
Certainly overdue but at least
They have been there.

I'm definitely close
Or at least close to that which it shall require.
Like setting the controls for the heart of the sun
And not being blinded in its light.

I'm excited because the fire of the man I want to be has been re-lit,
even as I've been off-track for far too long.
Here I will choose carefully my words:
Why cannot I not be the rabbit rather than the fox,
For once having joy seek ME out?
In a way, I have been waiting for this happiness
Wallowing in a stubborn and vestigial loneliness.
Has it found me this go-around?
May He bestow in me the patience to see it through.

Yet how can I possibly complain?
Should God grant me any opportunity
Let me show the world the wisdom of His will.
Certainly I should love chances such as these before me.
Should He not, I will be no less grateful to Him
And I pray I would live my life no differently.

Regardless of what happens
I feel a little more awake.
Still a very uncertain
But awake.

As always, life can either be simple or have any degree of complication.
More than anything, more than ever
I hope that this one thing will be straightforward...
Please don't ask what it is because I just can't say.
It's too dear to me to share right now
And I've said too much already.

I apologize in advance for honest and reasonable requests
That I am unable to honor.
I promise it's not my fault and I will do all I can to be true to them.

I'm going to go with the flow for awhile
But I should love some company.
Would anyone like to float along with me?



*I was extremely frusturated when I began writing this. As I wrote, though, launchcast blessed me with some good tunes and now I am calm, almost sedate in the opportunities I might have (is this the mood that will one day spawn a midlife crisis?). If I chose again, I would say that my mood would be eager...and *gasp* a little hopeful. I hope that rubs off :)

President McKinley, 1898

A welcome and deserved slap in the face is the realization that substance above carnality is truly the most sexy and ironic circumstance in the world. How deliciously typical and perverse of life to dish up such a discovery in a manner more appealing to Sophocles than to those of us seeking a less tragic exsistence.

A Knock on the Door is Worth Two in Gin Rummy

Just got back from a work - soccer (we won) - couch moving marathon. Ready for bed. I have to get up real early on Wednesday and I thought that if I could make sleep early tonight, then I would be more apt to do it when the time comes. Naturally, my 2nd broken train-crossing barrier of the month set me back about 45 mins, so I guess it's business as usual. However, I'm glad the couch stayed in my truck and glad the chair stayed on the car...it could have been worse. Neighbors must have BBQed tonight because I had a window open and now it smells wicked smokey in here. Smoke: I haven't had a cigarette in a really, really long time. I started having a cigar with Justin this weekend but mine was too dry, so I switched to the pipe. I forgot how much I enjoyed the pipe.

Concert Review
Oh yeah, about Justin...Cool Ethan and Alex cruised up for the underwhelming (that word, along with "et al" were this weekend's themes) Killers show. The Killers get 5/10, Modest Mouse 7/10, Arcade Fire 8.5/10, Doves 8/10 and British Sea Power 6/10. The I would gladly pay to see the Doves and Arcade Fire again. British Sea Power had the coolest shirts but of course they were sold out, so ended up with an underwhelming (see!) substitute. The Arcade Fire shirts just plain out sucked. Beers were tasy but $8.25 per...needless to say Cool Ethan and I blew through all the cash we had in short order. What were we supposed to do? Not drink? I think he may have even hit the ATM once. Anyways, the head Killer was wearing eye shadow and a scarf. He probably had glitter on, too; luckily I was too far away to see it. Too pretty for me, I'm afraid. I'm not sure that Shane was really digging it but Erin must not have been too bummed because she came up to the apt afterwards even though it was late. Go Trojans.

This is my life.

PS If you were a Pimpernel, what color would you be?

Mister City Policeman Sitting Pretty Little Policemen in a Row

Alright. Time to quit dicking around and write some tracks.